Jesus' Coming Back

Tesla Cybertruck Confirmed For Next Star Fox Game

KYOTO, JAPAN—Nintendo has confirmed that the Tesla Cybertruck will make an appearance in the Star Fox franchise.

The boxy, polygonal truck will be a playable vehicle option alongside the traditional Arwing fighter, Landmaster tank, and Blue-Marine sub. And yes, it can do a barrel roll.

“It’s has that sleek, angular, Arwing-inspired look, and it’s made up of about 3 polygons, so it fits right in,” said Nintendo of America President Doug Bowser. “You can just run right over the bad guys, because it’s pretty much just a giant battering ram. And best of all, you get 500 miles on a single charge.”

Nintendo spokespeople confirmed that the Cybertruck is much more environmentally friendly vehicle than the Arwing. “The Arwing runs on carbon-heavy G-Diffuser propulsion systems, which contribute to global warming on planets all over the Lylat System. The people of Corneria can rest easy knowing we are solving climate change with the Tesla Cybertruck.”

Elon Musk said he’s very excited about the crossover promotion, stating he got the idea for the Cybertruck while smoking doobies and playing Star Fox 64 for 37 hours straight.

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