ACB Racing To Get Dinner Ready For Husband So He’ll Let Her Out To Overturn Roe V. Wade

WASHINGTON, D.C.—It’s just another day for Judge Amy Coney Barrett: being submissive and serving her husband so he’ll let her out to end all women’s rights.

“You see, I’m trying to end Roe v. Wade,” Judge Barrett explained as she seasoned her roast.

“End my hunger,” answered her husband.

“My goal is to make The Handmaid’s Tale happen for real,” Judge Barrett said as she put the food in the oven.

“Make dinner real,” growled her husband.

When dinner was finally served and deemed “adequate,” Judge Barrett’s husband told her, “Okay, you can go do your knitting club or whatever.”

“I’m trying to get confirmed to the Supreme Court so I can set this country back two hundred years,” Judge Barrett told him.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. And fetch me a beer before you go.”

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee

After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It’s loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.