CLEVELAND, OH—Biden came out swinging in tonight’s presidential debate. For the first several minutes, he shocked the live audience and viewers across the country with his clear, concise rhetoric and thoughtful, well-researched answers. Unfortunately, suspicions arose when what appeared to be a radio antenna slowly emerged from the back of Biden’s head.
Moderator Chris Wallace blinked in disbelief. “Mr. Vice President is that… is that a giant antenna sticking out of your skull?”
“I dunno what you’re talking about, sport,” Biden replied. “My head is perfectly normal and I most definitely do not have an antenna connected to my brain and ears that is tuned into a top-secret radio frequency where someone is feeding me answers to all your questions,” Biden said with a chuckle and a wide smile.
“I see it too!” Trump said. “It’s right there!”
“No, no, no, it’s not. There’s nothing there! KEEP YOUR DIAL RIGHT HERE FOR ANOTHER COMMERCIAL FREE BLOCK OF 90’s COUNTRY HITS!” said Biden, who had apparently just tuned into the wrong frequency.
Aides rushed to the stage and adjusted some wires underneath Biden’s jacket and the debate resumed without incident.
CNN anchors marveled at Biden’s flawless debate performance which he most definitely achieved without any help.
According to sources, Chris Wallace went home after the debate and cried.
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