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WASHINGTON, D.C.—In one of his latest classic pranks, Trump snuck into Biden’s room last night and replaced Biden’s depressing, deathly black COVID mask with a bright and cheery COVID mask emblazoned with the message: “TRUMP 2020 — KEEP AMERICA GREAT!” What a gas!
Biden woke up the next morning and mindlessly put on his mask before mindlessly padding across the room to the mirror where he had written the words: “You are Joe Biden” in toothpaste.
Biden saw his reflection in the mirror.
“Huh! I’m a Trump supporter now? Who would’ve thought?” he said before shrugging and looking for his clothes.
When the time came, he walked out on the debate stage wearing his new mask. A campaign staffer noticed what Biden was wearing and frantically motioned for him to take off his mask.
“Me? Take off my mask? Are you having a fit of hysterics, little woman?” Biden said. “Why, 200 billion people have died from COVID, and I sure as heck ain’t gonna be one of them! It took my pal Corn Pop but it won’t take me!”
Aides had to wrestle Biden to the ground and sedate him in order to get the MAGA mask off his face and replace it with his traditional black plague mask.
NOT SATIRE: Yes, these are real. Yes, you can buy them. Yes, we really really hope Biden accidentally puts one on.
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