SALT LAKE CITY, UT—In last night’s Vice Presidential Debate, Mike Pence asked Kamala Harris whether she would pack the Supreme Court. Just as Harris was about to give a definitive, straightforward answer, she pulled the fire alarm and brought the debate to an abrupt end.
“Oh no! I really want to clear this up once and for all and give the American people a simple yes or no answer, but there’s no time! I think I smell smoke!” shouted Senator Harris as she pulled the nearest fire alarm, setting off the sprinklers. “Fire! Everybody scram!”
Senator Harris then climbed over her table and made a mad dash through the crowd. Many noted that she ignored all social distancing precautions as she ran for the exit.
According to reports, no one present said they saw any indication of smoke or fire. “I was really hoping to hear her response. A simple ‘yes, we are a terrible, conniving, and childish group that will change all the rules if we don’t get exactly what we want’ or a ‘no, elections have consequences’ would’ve been fine,” said one observer.
Debate officials promised to do better next time and insisted they had no idea why there was a fire alarm located conveniently behind Harris during the debate.
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