WASHINGTON, D.C.—Thousands around the world are forsaking their sins and receiving Christ this week after Trump shared an article from The Babylon Bee.
The Babylon Bee is widely known as the most Christian website ever created. In fact, it is so insanely Christian that a single share on social media has the power to instantly save hundreds of souls. According to sources, Trump was ignorant of this fact before sharing the article.
Seminaries are concerned that the astounding salvific power of The Babylon Bee’s inspired writings could destroy thousands of pastoral and mission field jobs since their satirical writings are so very inspired as well as Christian.
“The writers of The Babylon Bee are the most amazing Christians the world has seen— maybe since the apostles,” said an anonymous source who knows what he’s talking about. “They are very godly and wise and have never made a mistake or published a satire article in bad taste. This is probably due to their off-the-chart Christian-ness.”
Big Tech attempted to censor The Bee since they are non-Christian Democrats and are very afraid of the whole world becoming Christian.
Unfortunately, all the Big Tech censors actually read a Babylon Bee article and became Christians themselves.
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