Jesus' Coming Back

Democrats Propose Stopping Coyotes By Distracting Them With Decoy Roadrunners

EL PASO, TX—After Trump brought attention to the coyote epidemic at the southern border during the debates, Democrats on Twitter are offering unique solutions to the problem, such as setting up decoy roadrunners to distract the coyotes.

“Everyone knows that a coyote’s greatest nemesis is the roadrunner. That’s just science,” said AOC to reporters. “Trump has done nothing to stop the scourge of deadly coyotes smuggling innocent children into the concentration camps at the southern border. We need to do something with science to make it stop!” 

AOC and The Squad have partnered to promote legislation that would require large cardboard cutouts of the roadrunner from the famous Warner Brothers cartoons to be placed every 8 feet at the southern border. 

“Why is this the first I’m even hearing about this?” said AOC. “I, like, literally can’t believe Trump hasn’t done anything about the coyotes. We need to do something now, like this new and ambitious plan to place a million roadrunner decoys throughout the desert!”

According to progressive legislators, the new plan will cost only 800 trillion dollars and will create infinity jobs.


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