THE BRONX, NY—AOC blasted election officials this week after discovering that people were actually waiting in line to vote rather than to receive bread from the government. According to sources, people are sometimes waiting up to 2 hours at polling stations, but are able to get bread within 5 minutes due to America’s evil capitalist system.
“I was like, literally shaking when I learned these people were standing in line to vote and not get free bread from the government,” said Representative Ocasio-Cortez. “In other countries, voting is easy. Sometimes the military even comes to your house and fills out your ballot with the correct socialist candidate for you! The fact that Americans have to sacrifice any amount of time to exercise their voting rights is just more evidence that we live under an evil fascist regime.”
Bread lines, according to AOC, are a different matter. “Bread lines are compassionate and loving,” she said. “They are the best way to make sure everyone gets the proper amount of government bread, cheese, and powdered milk. In Venezuela, they wait 32 hours for bread, but don’t have to lift a finger to vote! It’s, like, totally, totally, not fair.”
AOC has proposed legislation to put voting officials in charge of bread distribution and replacing in-person voting with Twitter polls conducted by CNN.
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