Biden insiders have contacted the Babylon Bee to reveal some of his top cabinet picks. Wow! They must really like us. Take a look at the list below for a revealing look at the next administration.
AOC – Secretary of Math
Jeb Bush – Secretary of Energy
Hunter Biden – Secretary of Treasury
Pete Buttigieg – Secretary of Gay Stuff
Nikole Hannah-Jones – Secretary of Education
Ibram X. Kendi – Secretary of Re-Segregation
Rachael Maddow – Secretary of Defense
CNN President Jeff Zucker – Secretary of Ending The Pandemic
Keith Olbermann – Secretary of Mental Health
Chinese President Xi Jinping – U.S. Trade Representative
Jane Fonda – Secretary of Veterans Affairs
Petro Poroshenko – Secretary of… not sure yet but we’ll get him in somewhere
Don Lemon – Director of National Intelligence
Any female of color – Secretary of Diversity
Bernie Sanders – Secretary of Labor
Carole Baskin – Secretary of Health and Human Services
Elizabeth Warren – Director of Bureau of Indian Affairs, duh
Gavin Newsom – Secretary of Transportation
Trump – Secretary of Nicknaming Stuff
Bob Brown – Secretary of White House Handicap Accessibility
Dale Smith – Secretary of White House Maintenance and Telling the President Whatever Those Flyover State People Are Up To
Amber Carter, R.N. – Secretary of Reminding Biden What His Name Is
Chef Gordon Ramsay – Secretary of Crushing Up Meds Into Biden’s Applesauce
This list, according to experts, is entirely plausible. We hope you’ve enjoyed this super exclusive peek into Joe Biden’s administration!
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