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The year is 2020, and the War on Christmas rages on. Are you tired of being assaulted by nihilistic holiday drivel every time you leave your house? Are you tired of people not knowing the true meaning of Christmas? Follow these proven strategies for putting Christ back in Christmas this year!
- Smash the Santa statue in your neighbor’s yard and replace it with a Nativity scene.
- When the mall Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, reply “to glorify God and enjoy Him forever, AMEN.”
- Break into Costco at night and write Bible verses on all the Holiday decorations.
- When ordering at Starbucks, tell them your name is “Jesus is the reason for the season” so they will have to write that on your cup.
- Replace your pagan Christmas tree with a cross.
- Call your local radio station and request a song from Lauren Daigle’s Christmas album several times a day.
- On Christmas morning, read through the entire New Testament before you open presents.
- If someone wishes you ‘Happy Holidays,’ just smile politely, and later slash their tires.
- Knit sweaters for all your kids that feature a thorough explanation of the doctrine of the Incarnation on the front.
- Make your kids sleep in a straw-filled manger to appreciate Jesus’s birth!
Follow these ten tips and win the War for Christmas this year!
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