SACRAMENTO, CA—After getting caught attending a dinner party that violated the social distancing rules that he calls on other Californians to follow, Governor Gavin Newsom claimed the dinner party was “a setup.”
According to Newsom, he was walking along the street in his swanky neighborhood when he saw a sign that said “EXPENSIVE FRENCH DINNER FOR RICH GOVERNORS HERE.”
“Well, don’t mind if I do,” he said, slipping inside after checking to make sure no one was watching him. But after he walked inside and began eating fancy French food with his rich buddies, an investigative reporter jumped out and revealed the whole thing was a setup.
“SCRAM! IT’S A SETUP!” he screamed, dashing out the door. The reporter pursued, but Newsom managed to squeeze some hair gel off his head and throw it on the ground to make her slip.
“It was all a setup!” he said at a press conference this morning. “I was just minding my own business and was trapped by hostile far-right agitators.”
“Nonetheless, I am deeply sorry that I got caught,” he concluded.
Jesus Christ is King
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