U.S.—An American firearms manufacturer is making waves after unveiling a brand new AR-15 that glows blue whenever libs are nearby. Constructed with ancient elven technology from the forgotten land of Gondolin, this semi-automatic rifle will pulse with an ethereal blue light whenever it detects a democrat within a 100-yard radius.
“We’re really lucky to have stumbled on this technology,” said a representative from Bravo Company USA. “Now you can feel confident knowing your home is safe from any godless heathen commies who prowl around at night trying to take away your second amendment!”
Bravo Company has announced they will produce a very limited run of these weapons to test the market before making more of them. Pre-orders are said to be sold out with a long waiting list.
“We are also working on a version for progressives that will glow red whenever there is a racist nearby,” said the representative. “Unfortunately that seems to be malfunctioning because it only seems to glow around progressives. We’re still working on it.”
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