Hunter Biden Arrives At White House Dressed As Turkey In Hopes Of Being Pardoned By Trump

WASHINGTON, DC—With Thanksgiving approaching, there is wide speculation as to whether President Trump will conduct a Turkey pardoning ceremony this year. In a last-ditch effort to clear his name, Hunter Biden made a rare appearance at the White House wearing a turkey costume in hopes that Trump would pardon him.

“Mr. Trump, I appeal to your greatness,” began Hunter. “Please pardon me for drug use, human trafficking, bribery, extortion, espionage, and corruption. Er — I mean… GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!”

President Trump agreed to pardon the unusually large and vocal turkey. “I am a wise and benevolent President. So true. Very wise, very benevolent,” he said. “Go your way and be forgiven, little turkey.”

“Gee! Thanks, Mr. Trump!” said Hunter. He then boarded a private jet just in time for another week-long bender in Beijing.