NETHERLANDS—In order to help families comply with social distancing guidelines during the pandemic, Ikea has released a massive new dining room table. Called the “Dumt Långbord,” which is Swedish for “stupid long table,” the massive piece of furniture will be 100 feet long and seat 6 people.
“We are proud to offer a new piece of furniture to help you stay safe,” said Ikea CEO Jesper Brodin. “It may not fit in your house but that’s not my concern.”
As with all Ikea furniture, the Dumt Långbord will come disassembled to allow families the joyful bonding experience of assembling furniture together. During the pandemic, this epic table will be on sale for only $999. For an additional $200, you can add internet-connected sensors that will inform your state’s governor if more than 6 people attempt to sit down at the table.
Unfortunately, these tables are illegal for some reason in California.
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