Gretchen Whitmer Pops Out Of Turkey To Inform Family They Have Exceeded Maximum Number Of Guests

PLYMOUTH, MI—Governor Gretchen Whitmer popped out of a local family’s turkey to inform them they had exceeded the maximum number of guests at Thanksgiving this year, sources at the Johnson household confirmed Friday.

“Freeze! Caught you gravy-handed!” she shouted as she emerged from the turkey in the center of the table. “Put down the forks, and nobody gets hurt. And you there! Kid! Put down that cranberry sauce!”

Other families reported similar occurrences, as Whitmer popped out of bowls of mashed potatoes, green bean casseroles, and chimneys to bust rulebreakers. Families scattered, with grandmas and grandpas diving through windows and making a run for it to get away from the overbearing governor. All in all, thousands were arrested, as there is clear evidence they were having fun and being thankful, both of which are illegal under Whitmer’s orders.

Her job done for the day, Whitmer returned to one of her homes to celebrate Thanksgiving with her family.