CNN Reports Iran Has Developed Peaceful Nuclear Power Plant In More Efficient Shape Of A Rocket

TEHRAN—Reporting from Iran’s capital, a CNN journalist revealed that Iran has developed a new peaceful nuclear power plant that just happens to be shaped like an intercontinental ballistic missile.

The new shape is said to be more efficient and far more mobile than the old, clunky ones that looked like buildings, the reporter said.

“We are proud of Iran’s austere nuclear physicists for coming up with this innovative new design,” said the journalist, Tate Ehrtauts. “It’s clear that Iran, above all else, desires peace and wants to help the world advance to a greener, more efficient future. The people back there are chanting ‘Death to America!’, an Iranian phrase which is roughly translated as ‘Build Back Better.'” 

Ehrtauts also said the AK-47s they were holding were actually “peace sticks” which shoot confetti into the air to celebrate all the peace. He was then thrown into prison and quickly thanked the Iranians for their hospitality.