NORTH POLE—Santa Claus’s nice list is said to be run on trustworthy software, safe and secure on an unhackable server under his workshop.
But some are questioning the legitimacy of the nice list after the tally suddenly spiked in the middle of the night, adding over 138,000 kids to the good side of the list.
After sorting kids according to their niceness or naughtiness for hours, Santa had abruptly stopped counting and gone to bed, saying he was tired and taking a break for the night, even though he is magical and does not need to sleep.
A team of unsupervised elves reportedly continued the counting against North Pole guidelines, and around 3 a.m. there was a sudden dump of over 138,000 kids put on the nice list. The software also switched kids over from the naughty to the nice list at random.
Big Tech companies quickly fact-checked the claim, assuring parents and children that the sudden jump of hundreds of thousands of kids added to the nice list is a normal part of kid sorting and that Santa’s methods are trustworthy and reliable.
Babylon Bee subscriber Jenna Jacobsen contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!
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