Only Other Guy In Store Not Wearing Mask Gives You Knowing Look As Though Welcoming You To Secret Society

U.S.—When you stopped by the store to pick up a few quick things on your way home from work yesterday, the only other maskless man in the store gave you a knowing look, a sly smile, and a little, almost imperceptible nod as though he were welcoming you to some kind of secret society.

Locking eyes with you through the sea of masked “sheeple,” the man gave you a look as though to say, “Welcome to the resistance. You and I, we’re the ones who are going to start the revolution. Look at these sheep, wearing masks like dumb-dumbs. They bought the lie from Big Brother. They’ve drunk the Kool-Aid. That grandma over there shopping for peaches, wearing her face diaper? She’s garbage. A useful idiot. A bootlicker. But not you. You and me? We’re different. We’re special. We don’t buy the lies. We see through them and behold the truth: that masks are for the ignorant and the weak. Welcome to the society of the enlightened, brother.”

At publishing time, you didn’t have the heart to tell him you just forgot your bandana in the car and weren’t making a political statement or anything.