Disney announced about 7,562 new Star Wars shows yesterday. But that’s just the top of the iceberg, as more shows are soon to follow. We at The Babylon Bee have a Star Wars insider (we’re not saying it’s Gina Carano, but we’re not not saying it). We asked her — or him, or them — what shows have yet to be announced, and they were able to tease these upcoming shows. They sound amazing!
- My 3,000 Lb. Life – An inside look at the triumphs and tragedies of being a body-positive Hutt. Touching and moving.
- Tatooine’s Got Talent – Watch as talented acts like Figrin D’an and the Modal Nodes and fan-favorite the Max Rebo Band compete until only one is left standing.
- Better Call Maul – Follow Darth Maul’s post-fall life as a seedy lawyer clawing his way to the top of the exciting Dathomir legal world.
- 1,000 Ways for Rose Tico to Die – A real crowd-pleaser!
- Watto and the Tatooine Pawn Stars – Watch as Watto haggles people down, refusing to take Republic credits and making people partake in dangerous spaceship battles to make a deal. “Best I can do is three Huttese truguts.”
- Meesa Breaking Bad! – Follow Jar-Jar Binks’ post-political life. Down on his luck and without health insurance, Binks is forced to cook Death Sticks to pay his medical bills.
- This Show Is Just Five Seasons Of Baby Yoda Doing Cute Things – Exactly what it sounds like. Fans are pumped for this one!
- Naked and Afraid on Hoth – Two contestants are dropped off on the ice planet without clothes or any survival gear in an extreme survival competition. And you thought Tauntauns smelled bad on the outside!
- The Tauntaun King – Meet an eccentric exotic animal collector and his dramatic wheelings and dealings across the galaxy. The Tauntaun King gets more and more bizarre with each episode!
- The Great Bothan Bakeoff – Bothans bake things and compete in this light-hearted cooking show. Many Bothans died to bring us these pies.
- How I Met Your Father – This hilarious sitcom features ghost-Padme as she tells Luke and Leia all the wacky hijinks that led to her marrying the evilest man in the galaxy. It’s a pretty solid show but we’re led to believe the last episode will ruin the whole thing forever.
- Dirty Jobs with Darth – Follow along as Darth Vader documents the craziest and most dangerous jobs in the galaxy, from keeping rancors and feeding people to sarlaccs to cleaning out the trash compactor on the Death Star.
- To Catch An SJW – Host Gina Carano entraps and then ambushes whiny Star Wars fans on the internet and confronts them in person. “Why don’t you have a seat right over there?” she says as they drop their soy milkshake in fear.
- The Masked Bounty Hunter – Every episode has a contest where various bounty hunters show off their killing and capturing skills. The twist is, they’re masked, so you never know who’s under there until they’re voted off! Just don’t vote the Mandalorian off, because if you try to take off his mask, well, you’ll die.
- Sith Busters – This show will debunk popular Jedi myths and investigate questions like how the heck Rey is so powerful despite never having any formal Jedi training. Sith? Busted!
Which one are you most excited for? Let us know in the comments! Or just write, “FIRST!” If you’re not a subscriber, you can’t comment, so just shout at the screen!
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