SEATTLE, WA—In a controversial decision, the Seattle City Council has announced they will be instituting one special day every year where laws against things like stealing, killing, and urinating in public libraries will actually be enforced by real police officers.
“In order to preserve order for our citizens, we will be instituting this ‘purge’ to give everyone a little break from an entire year of lawlessness and death,” said Seattle Mayor Jenny Durkan. “This will give residents a 24-hour breather so they can clean up the streets and hunker down for another 364 days of chaos and destruction!”
The new city ordinance will allow the complete enforcement of all laws for a 24 hour period on the 21st of March every year. People are asked to refrain from murder, drug use, and wearing overly revealing bike shorts during that time period.
Seattle residents responded with outrage, calling the ordinance “fascist” and “racist.” They are working on setting up a new autonomous zone that will allow people to be immune from the “reverse purge.”
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