It’s official: 2020 was the worst year ever, except for almost all the other years in human history! Will 2021 be a better year? Take a look at the Babylon Bee’s official list of infallible predictions for next year and decide for yourself!
January 1 – New Year resolutions begin
January 5 – New Year resolutions downgraded
January 20 – Biden sworn in
January 21 – Biden dies of natural causes
January 22 – Trump announces 2024 presidential run
January 23 – 2024 Campaign kicks off
January 25 – Obama releases new memoir
January 27 – Feminists finally begin to reverse Handmaid’s Tale
February 1 – All remaining Trump supporters hunted down and executed
February 2 – Electoral college, First Amendment, Second Amendment, churches, and capitalism eliminated
February 3 – Democrats announce return to unity
February 29 – China officially annexes United States
March 1 – Pronouns must be tattooed on forehead or hand
March 3 – Space Force training exercise accidentally blows up the moon
March 6 – Elon Musk fixes moon
March 10 – Obama releases new memoir
March 21 – COVID 20 arrives
March 25 – FDA approves first permanent mask facial implant
April 1 – Cuomo hunts down remaining elderly in New York
April 19 – Steven Furtick announces he is the Messiah
May 5 – Elon Musk accepts Christ
May 6 – Joel Osteen accepts Christ
May 10 – Obama releases new memoir
June 6 – AOC tweets something dumb
July 3 – Kamala Harris forces gulag prisoners to make bricks without straw
August 15 – Netflix releases Cuties 2
September 5 – CHAZ 2 founded
September 6 – CHAZ 2 dismantled
October 1 – Beth Moore becomes Head Pastor of Christianity
October 8 – Obama releases new memoir
October 11 – ISIS takes over all of Canada
November 17 – Development complete on Cyberpunk 2077
December 10th – We finally find out what the squirrels have been up to
December 25 – Kamala Harris outlaws Christmas and becomes Empress of The World
December 27 – Obama releases new memoir
December 30 – Sydney Powell announces Kraken will finally be released next week
December 31 – Jesus returns
Yikes– looks like 2021 will be another doozy! Happy New Year!
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