Hillsong Rejects Justin Bieber As Pastoral Candidate For Not Having Enough Tattoos

NEW YORK, NY—After recent reports that claimed Justin Bieber was training to become a Hillsong pastor, the superstar pop singer took to social media to clarify that he had been rejected from serving as a pastor since he doesn’t have enough tattoos.

“I’m striving, I’m learning, I’m growing,” said Bieber. “But I haven’t arrived yet. The leadership at Hillsong explained to me that I still need to work on my hair and wardrobe game — in addition to getting at least 3 more tattoos — before I will be ready to preach and teach at their church. God willing, I will be ready in 2 or 3 years.”

“Here at Hillsong, we place a high priority on speaking to the culture in a relevant way,” said Kad Vooperstilts, a deacon at the church. “Justin just ain’t quite there yet, man. With a little time and a lot more ink, he’ll be ready to bring the good news of peace and love to the East Coast!”

Unfortunately, Bieber’s ordination may be delayed even further. A division has arisen among the church leaders as to whether Justin should be allowed to keep the mustache.