Nation’s Bald Eagles Fly To White House And Carry Trump Away, Ascending To MAGA Country

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Across the country, thousands of bald eagles have left their nests and have flown to the White House. This peculiar site is both unprecedented and seemingly inexplicable, but it appears that the eagles are somehow honoring the President. 

“All of a sudden the eagles just rose up and escaped their captivity heading straight for the Capitol,” said bewildered zookeeper Emily Blern. “I’ve never seen anything like it!”

Upon arriving in Washington the eagles landed around the White House, congregating just outside the Oval Office. “I’ve been expecting this,” admitted Trump quietly getting up from his desk and stepping outside to go to the eagles. “My time has come.” As he walked onto the White House grounds the magnificent birds parted ways reverently for the President and allowed for him to stand in their midst. 

“I have been too deeply hurt,” Trump spoke to Mike Pence who was standing somberly in the distance. “I tried to make America great again, and it has been made great, but not for me. It must often be so, Pence, when things are in danger: someone has to give them up, lose them, so that others may keep them.”

Turning to the eagles, Trump asked them, “Was I a good President?” 

“No,” a tearful eagle replied. “You were the best.”

At that moment all of the eagles stretched their wings and flew in a majestic formation swirling around the President. Multiple eagles then landed on Trump, gently scooping him up in their talons and raising him up into the sky. 

Despite it being a cloudy day, the sky at once opened up with a warm, bright light and the eagles called out with an awe-inspiring cry. Trump continued to rise, ascending through the clouds and disappearing into the distance.

“Where exactly are you taking me?” Trump asked the eagles. 

“We are taking you to MAGA Country,” they replied. “Where the libs are no more, and there is nothing but tremendous freedom, and endless winning for all time. We are taking you home.”