SEATTLE, WA—In a devastating move to the multi-billion dollar company Amazon, the entire Amazon website has been kicked off Amazon Web Services. This happened after it was found that Amazon.com was selling President Donald Trump’s book The Art of the Deal, a book that financially contributes to the menace Donald Trump while also causing people to think like the deranged maniac.
“Our policies are very clear,” said Steve, an admin for AWS who made the decisions. “They’re on a webpage somewhere, and they say something like, ‘Don’t do bad stuff.’ So we had no choice but to kick that website off of AWS until they stop being bad.”
Amazon founder Jeff Bezos denounced the decision. “Huh?” he said, quickly adding, “Wait… what just happened?”
The ban is likely to have a huge, deleterious effect to Amazon.com, as it’s unlikely to find servers big enough to host the world’s biggest commerce site anytime soon. As for the impetus of the ban, President Trump is said to be isolated and alone in the Oval Office, his almost complete internet ban meaning he has no electronics to play with except the nuclear launch button.
Critics are saying this is censorship, while opponents of the move are just saying Amazon should build their own web servers.
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