Study Finds Most Americans Support Making Wall Around Capitol Permanent To Keep Politicians In

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Authorities in D.C. have erected a large 12-foot fence around the Capitol, which will be guarded by thousands of soldiers. A study has found that the majority of Americans support making the wall around the Capitol permanent to keep the politicians corralled in there.

In spite of the precautions, many Americans are worried that still may not be enough to keep the politicians confined safely inside or prevent them from interfering in everyone’s lives.

“I would feel much better knowing that all the politicians are safely locked away in the Capitol building where they can’t bother anyone,” said local citizen Bart McNally, “but is the fence really enough? Sure, it may be hard to climb over it, but what’s gonna stop one of them from slithering underneath it like a little lizard?” 

Many citizens across the country are proposing greater safety measures to ensure none of the slimy swamp creatures are able to escape. Suggestions include drone patrols, electrified razor wire, and 50-foot solid concrete walls with giant steel doors that lock from the outside.

“We can’t be too careful,” said McNally. “If even one of them manages to escape, the destruction could be catastrophic”