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9 Responses You Should Use When The Mask Police Come For You

Two years after the introduction of the novel Wuhan coronavirus in America, children still risk suspension from school if they don’t wear masks, businesses face government fines and closures for inadequate Covid compliance, and patients struggle alone as hospitals maintain bans on family visits. The ability of Democrat politicians to live under the umbrella of rules for thee but not for me also remains more alive than ever.

As the mask police continue to patrol school hallways and the open skies, fed-up Americans have devised creative ways to protest the mandated insanity of required cloth coverings that even their loudest champions have begun to concede are pointless.

“It’s all nonsense,” said Adam Jenne in December after he was banned from United Airlines for wearing a red thong as a face mask. “COVID doesn’t know that we’re at cruising altitude. It’s stupid. The whole thing is theater.”

Democrat politicians dismissing their own rules, however, don’t face the consequences their subjects do. Here are some of their excuses that may be worth adopting to avoid a fine.

‘I Was Holding My Breath’

The Democrat mayor of Los Angeles tried to excuse himself for flouting his own city’s mask mandate last weekend with claims Wednesday he was “holding his breath.”

On Sunday, L.A. Mayor Eric Garcetti was caught maskless at the 49ers-Rams game at SoFi Stadium with San Francisco Democrat Mayor London Breed and former Lakers legend Magic Johnson.

“Hanging out at SoFi Stadium today!” Johnson wrote on Twitter, with photos that also included one with Democrat California Gov. Gavin Newsom. At SoFi Stadium, fans are required to wear face masks regardless of vaccination status in compliance with local health codes.

“I’ll take personal responsibility,” Garcetti said in response to a reporter’s question on the photos. “If it makes you and everyone else happy — or even the photographs with people where I’m literally holding my breath for two seconds — I won’t even do that.”

Garcetti won’t face consequences of course, as the executive of a left-wing metropolis in a state which voted to greenlight the Covid caste system in September. Newsom’s survival in the recall gave politicians who violated their own dystopian Covid protocols the blessing of the voter.

‘I Was Feeling The Spirit’

In September, San Francisco Mayor Breed excused herself from wearing a mask in a nightclub where coverings were required per her own city’s order.

“I was feeling the spirit and I wasn’t thinking about a mask,” Breed said, condemning micromanagement from the “fun police.”

‘I Live In The Regular World’

Former New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio defended his trip to a Brooklyn gym just before his own Covid rules went into effect claiming it was okay because he lives in “the regular world.”

“There’s something wrong in the world where this kind of very small matter gets blown up like that by people, you know, who live in a world of public relations,” the mayor at the time said. “I don’t live in that world. I live in the regular world.”

In the regular world, however, the mayor’s Covid deputies were relentless enforcing de Blasio’s dystopian rules. Regular people aren’t as obsessed with masks as those infected with Covid hysteria.

‘I Was Not Prepared’

Then-Virginia Democrat Gov. Ralph Northam conceded he was unprepared after he was caught without a mask in Virginia Beach mingling with constituents when statewide mandates were in place.

The governor, Northan’s office wrote in a statement afterward, was “not expecting to be within six feet of anyone” despite his visit being to “check beach enforcement and make sure they were following the rules, which they were largely.”

Some have gone to extreme lengths to enter businesses in compliance with government mandates when caught without a mask.

‘I’m Drinking’ (Even If It’s A Lie)

California Democrat Gov. Gavin Newsom, who survived a recall sparked by his maskless indoor dining party as he barred residents from congregating, defended his Sunday portrait at SoFi Stadium with Johnson this week because the governor “had a glass of water or a thing.”

“Magic was kind enough, generous enough to ask me for a photograph, and in my left hand’s the mask and I took a photo,” Newsom said during a Monday press conference. “The rest of the time I wore it, as we all should, not when I had a glass of water or a thing, and I encourage everybody else to do so.”

Except another photograph apparently from the same game shows otherwise:

As long as you keep a bottle of water or some trail mix handy nearby, the excuse is yours to use.

‘I Was Set Up’

In September of 2020, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was caught visiting a shut-down hair salon for a blowout maskless.

“It was a setup,” Pelosi later tried to explain after she was caught on security footage.

“I take responsibility for trusting the word of the neighborhood salon that I’ve gone to for years,” Pelosi reiterated. “I think that they owe, that this salon owes me an apology, for setting me up.”

Pelosi’s excuses enraged the salon owner.

“There was no way I could’ve set that up,” Eric Kious told Fox News on “Tucker Carlson Tonight.” “I’ve had a camera system in there for five years. I mean, I didn’t go in there and turn cameras on as soon as she walked in and set her up. So that is absolutely false.”

‘My Travel Is Necessary’

Washington D.C.’s Democrat Mayor Muriel Bowser defended her trip to Delaware to celebrate Biden’s ascension to the White House in what was at the time considered a “high-risk” state under district protocols. Under Bowser’s D.C. guidelines, residents who traveled to “high-risk” states were mandated to limit activity and self-monitor for two weeks. Bowser’s travel, however, was “essential.”

“I do a lot of things to advance the interests of the District of Columbia,” she said. “And some of them are formal, and some of them are informal, but all of them are necessary.”

In a free country, all of our travel is “essential.”

‘I’m Important And Need To Look Good For TV’

Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot was one of the first lockdowners to become a mascot of pandemic hypocrisy when she opened a salon her orders closed in March 2020.

“Getting your roots done is not essential,” Lightfoot said to admonish residents who complained about the mayor’s draconian shutdowns days before the activity became essential for her.

“I’m the public face of this city,” Lightfoot said to justify her ignoring restrictions imposed on residents. “I’m on national media, and I’m out in the public eye.”

Everyone has a phone these days. Everyone is in the public eye, and sorry, but masks are only sexy for the weird leftists who’ve fetishized Covid hysteria.

Months later, Lightfoot shouted maskless into a bullhorn to ring in President Joe Biden’s victory, whose win was another apparent exception ahead of Thanksgiving.

‘I Was Celebrating’

White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki defended President Joe Biden’s decision to ditch the mask on federal property right after signing requirements to wear facial coverings in one of his first executive orders on Inauguration Day.

“He was celebrating an evening of a historic day in our country and certainly he signed the mask mandate because it’s a way to send a message to the American public about the importance of wearing masks,” Psaki said.


Tristan Justice is the western correspondent for The Federalist. He has also written for The Washington Examiner and The Daily Signal. His work has also been featured in Real Clear Politics and Fox News. Tristan graduated from George Washington University where he majored in political science and minored in journalism. Follow him on Twitter at @JusticeTristan or contact him at Tristan@thefederalist.com.

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