All The Ways Americans Benefit From Republicans Voting To Expel George Santos: There Are None (Except for Democrats!)
It’s really something that by the end of the week, the three things Republicans will have accomplished since taking control of the House will have all benefited the Democrats’ chances of taking power back next year and will have done nothing whatsoever to improve the lives of the people who voted for them in 2022.
Let’s count the ways.
Republicans began the session with a paper-cut-thin majority and a ridiculous series of votes to determine who would lead as speaker. They ultimately settled on Kevin McCarthy, only to allow just eight members of the party to side with Democrats in tossing him overboard less than 10 months later. They did, however, make history. McCarthy is now the first and only speaker to have been unseated by a motion to vacate.
Right on!
Next, they passed a series of spending bills that included no cuts and simply re-funded the Biden administration’s supersized federal budget.
No muss, no fuss!
And now, Speaker Mike Johnson on Wednesday said that come Friday, there will probably be a vote on whether to expel Rep. George Santos, who is also a Republican. Reports indicate that around 75 Republicans will vote in favor of expulsion, and every Democrat can be counted on to join them, meaning Santos is doomed.
True, it appears that Santos is a liar who cheated campaign donors out of thousands of dollars so he could fund a tacky, degenerate lifestyle buying luxury clothes and subscribing to online pornography. (Yes, Santos paid for something that is free, but I’m not defending him as a genius.) He’s been charged with serious crimes, and he’s probably someone I’d never let near my kids or borrow a ten-spot. But he hasn’t been convicted of anything. And Republicans, with a 14-seat majority, are in no position to be shedding votes. What’s the rush? Santos is up for reelection in a year anyway. Until then, why not just hold off on any votes related to OnlyFans?
Ah, but then Republicans wouldn’t be able to go on CNN and say they “did the right thing.” And by “the right thing,” elected Republicans invariably mean “the thing that nobody outside the Washington media cares about or benefits from but gets me a pat on the head from The New York Times.”
Republicans lose another seat, which might very well go to a Democrat in a special election — but hey, it’s the decent, noble, principled thing to do.
You, American voter who wanted change in 2022, gaze on as the U.S. dollar disintegrates, billions get shipped to foreign wars, and Democrats criminalize their political opposition. But don’t worry. Mike Johnson and his GOP colleagues will get to say they have dignity because they sacrificed one of their own.
Jesus Christ is King
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