December 11, 2023

I really felt sorry for the three diverse presidents of the Ivy League, when jumped-up congress-critter Elise Stefanik (R-NY) humiliated them before the whole world for simply doing their jobs and reciting Sacred Narrative from the Book of Woke about antisemitism on campus. Did you know that, according to La Wik:

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[Elise Stefanik’s] parents own Premium Plywood Products, a wholesale plywood distributor based in Guilderland Center.

By what right — what right! — does the jumped-up daughter of jumped-up white immigrants from the Czech Republic and Italy get to humiliate the Grand Mistresses of the Order of the Knights of Marcuse? Did I get that right? Are the leaders of the Woke Order of the Knights of Marcuse Grand Priests or Grand Masters?

Anyway, as Marx would say, the noble ladies were caught, fair and square, in the “internal contradictions” of identity politics.

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There they are, reciting fairy tales told by wokey mothers down the ages:

Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the victim of them all?

Yes, dear noble college presidents. The victim du jour tends to change from day to day, from year to year. And your mission, if you accept it, is to keep the victims in rank order of oppression, every day: otherwise you lose your job.

My recommendation, ladies, is to keep up to date on the rank order of victim museums in Washington, D.C.:

On the National Mall:
– United States Holocaust Museum
– National Museum of African American History and Culture
– National Museum of the American Indian

Not on the National Mall:
– Victims of Communism Museum

Not yet approved:
– Palestine Victims Museum

Need not apply:
– White Trash Museum (that’s a joke, son)

There is another museum on the Mall that almost qualifies as a victim museum: The National Gallery of Art sponsored by millionaire Andrew W. Mellon. He was lawfared for tax-fraud in 1935-36 by FDR stooges. And when he was exonerated FDR got him to pony up cash for the art museum. But you ladies of the Order of Marcuse need not worry your heads about that.

By the way, ladies: you will notice that the questioner in Snow White was an evil stepmother. What is it about stepmothers, anyway? Especially since experts agree that most fairy tales were handed down from mother to daughter until the Brothers Grimm wrote it all down. Maybe the next woke Disney movie can explain.