In a couple of weeks, the Torah reading will be centered around the giving of the 10 Commandments on Mount Sinai. This cataclysmic event would not only change the history of the Hebrews but would impact all of civilization until the end of time.
The commandments were engraved onto two stone tablets, which raises a question: Why two? Could God not have put all 10 onto one tablet?!
Many answers are given to this oddity, but the one most accepted is that the dual luchot (tablets) sends a message that in reality, there are actually two Torahs: the written and the oral. While the written Torah is literally set in stone and therefore immutable, the oral law is subject to debate and differences of opinion.
Moses, no doubt, had a crystal-clear understanding of all the mitzvot (commandments) in the Torah, as he learned from the Source Itself. But as the oral transmission worked its way through the generations, a multitude of interpretations and opinions peppered the study halls with lively discussion – and emerged as the Mishna and Talmud that we study to this day.
There was an amazing dynamic at work here. Prohibited until the 3rd century CE from writing down the Oral Law – when Rabbi Judah the Prince finally broke the taboo and recorded the Mishna to save it from being lost – parents would painstakingly teach their children the intricacies of the laws and teachings extrapolated from the Torah’s verses. This was a magnificent bonding experience and an opportunity for mothers and fathers to add their own homespun wisdom and fascinating stories of the sages. Sadly, much of this parent-child dialogue has been lost, although the rabbis wisely created the Passover Haggadah as a wonderful example of how we can biblically relate to our younger generation as we transmit the thrilling Exodus narrative in story and song.
Which brings me to the subject of “the talk.” For countless centuries, “the talk” was about educating our children as to how babies are born. Scared and squeamish as they may have been, Mom or Dad had to sit the inquisitive kids down and diplomatically explain “the birds and the bees” to them. “Better to hear it at home than on the street,” they figured, although, truth be told, “the street” was pretty much where the information – or misinformation – was disseminated. (No doubt, the current generation’s addiction to TikTok and the Internet as the source of sexual knowledge is a major factor in the rampant immorality and misogyny that infects Western culture.)
There is another “talk” that has also gained a lot of notoriety.
That is the sit-down “rite of passage” conversation that many Black parents have with their children, explaining the prevalence of racist feelings that often abound in society. They warn the kids that they may very well experience prejudice that expresses itself in discrimination at school, work, or in the street. It might lead to unfair treatment under the law or even violence at the hands of police. “The talk” is not necessarily frightening or negative; it is also an opportunity to build up the children’s sense of pride by exposing them to the richness of their culture and exploring where they come from. Building up self-confidence is an important aspect of “the talk.”
I SUGGEST that the time is fast approaching for Jewish parents – especially in the Diaspora – to have their own version of “the talk.”
As antisemitism rises, and ignorance and intimidation increase, more and more Jews are starting to hide their Jewishness to avoid confrontation or conflict. The fear is that as the pressure increases, the verbal assaults upon our youth will become more and more violent. Equally worrisome is that many of these Jewish young people – particularly those with a limited Jewish education – will start to wonder, “Is it all worth it; do I need this?” Already, it’s clear that a great many Jews are falling prey to pro-Palestinian propaganda or jumping on the anti-Zionist bandwagon because it’s “trendy,” not to mention a whole lot safer.
So I want to urge loyal, dedicated, caring Jewish parents to have the Jewish “talk” with their kids.
“The Talk” on antisemitism
Start with the positive: Point out the magnificent achievements we have brought to humanity and all the many places where we have positively shaped history. Highlight some of our greatest heroes, from the revolutionary visionary Abraham to the courageous prophetess Deborah; from the “sweet singer” turned military hero King David, to the brilliant physician/Torah scholar Maimonides. Recount the stories in abundance of our brave soldiers and how they overcame impossible odds to create the State of Israel and continue to put their lives on the line every day to defend it. Talk about the impact we have made in the arts, in music, on the stage and screen, and mention just a few of the hundreds of inventions we have developed that are benefiting the entire world.
Tell them, without equivocation, that Israel is our rightful home, granted to us by the creator of the world; that this little “can-do” country has risen miraculously from the ashes and is a flowering oasis in the morally barren wilderness of the Middle East; that no amount of screaming or slandering can erase the truth that we have every right to be here and that we will defend that right, no matter what the odds.
And then it is time to lower your voice and tell them the tragic but true tales of how much we have suffered for our faith; the untold oppressions we have faced for no other reason than there is prejudice and misplaced passion in the world; that there is such a thing as evil, and it usually sets its sights on the more vulnerable elements of society. Discuss the heroism of those Jews who would refuse upon pain of death to convert during the Inquisition, and those who rebelled against the Nazis and fought back either spiritually or physically.
Perhaps most importantly, talk about God and the unique, intense relationship we have with God.
Tell them how we introduced divine wisdom into the world and spread a code of conduct for all peoples that was based on equality, justice, and love.
Explain that because God loves and respects us, we were given a special mission to make the world a better place, even as that same world protests our efforts and perverts the truth.
Children respect and admire their parents, even if they may not show it. The effect we have on our kids when we share our truths with them – when we let them know how we really feel – is inestimable.
We need to do that. Now. Because the fact is, despite the common expression, talk is definitely not cheap – it may be one of the most valuable things we have to give.
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