February 28, 2024

I’ve always liked those criminal mastermind movies.

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There’s always a criminal genius who assembles a crew of the best in their fields to pull off the heist of the century. After a flawlessly executed crime -– with lots of plot twists -– the crew makes a clean getaway and meets at a secret location to divvy up the haul. Just before they go their separate ways, the boss always admonishes his coconspirators to:

  • Don’t do anything stupid
  • Don’t attract attention, and
  • Don’t spend any of the loot until the dust settles

But in real life there’s always one stooge who buys a Ferrari, puts a kilo of blow in the trunk, and drives 80 mph through a school zone in front of the lead FBI agent’s house. Criminal conspiracies always unravel because one knucklehead can’t avoid being foolish.

Well, I’m running out of popcorn watching Atlanta’s version of the criminal comedy genre.

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According to Breitbart News, Jeff DiSantis may be the mastermind of the Atlanta chapter of the “get Joe Biden re-elected at all costs” caper. He’s a longtime Democrat party operative, conveniently placed in the Fulton County DA’s office, in time to run the Trump RICO case -– behind the scenes of course. The county’s district attorney, Fani Willis, is providing an Academy Award-worthy performance as the stooge which the mastermind wishes he hadn’t recruited. But per President “Return to Normalcy’s” orders, he needed a diversity hire with prosecutorial authority, negotiable ethical standards, and enough ego to be the public face of the conspiracy. As a comedy, the plot also called for someone with insufficient mental acuity to play her part smartly. Fani was the logical choice.

Our master-criminal coconspirators came up with a plan to return someone who is otherwise unelectable, Joe Biden, to the Oval Office. They’d use a novel application of the law, to indict Trump and 18 others for doing absolutely nothing illegal. Their plan was quite clever: prosecute Trump and his pals in a friendly venue, and then see if the Donald can campaign from a cell as well as Joe can campaign from a basement.

I suspect the indictment was followed by the standard crew admonishment: Don’t do anything stupid. Don’t attract attention. Don’t spend the spoils until the dust settles. But then the crew’s stooge did what stooges do. She acted like an overconfident fool with no self-discipline.

The public face of the conspiracy decided to have an affair with a man (Nathan Wade) going through an ugly divorce. Then she hired him as an overpaid member of the crew – making his estranged wife a material witness to the conspiracy. But she didn’t stop there. She also paid him almost three-quarters of a million bucks – of taxpayer money – and helped him spend the loot on expensive vacations. That exposed the “get Trump” conspiracy to state and local oversight.

Once Fani’s indiscretions exposed the criminal conspiracy (hers, not Trump’s), the RICO defense attorneys asked that she and her boytoy be disqualified from the case due to conflict of interest. Apparently, Georgia frowns on making money on the side for trying to put people in jail.

The request to have Fani disqualified from the Trump case caused all hell to break loose. First, she decided to engage in a bit of jury tampering. She mounted the pulpit of an Atlanta church and told future members of the jury pool that the RICO defendants were racists. Next, when the judge called a hearing to consider the disqualification request, she volunteered to testify and proceeded to:

  • Throw a temper tantrum – calling the opposing counsel liars
  • Announce that she had mad stacks of cash at home, which she had extorted from her campaign
  • Claim that prior testimony from her friend was a lie because her affair with Wade hadn’t begun until after she had hired him -– making her only guilty of sexual harassment, and
  • Stating that Wade had never spent the night at her place, because she’s a woman of virtue and purity