March 19, 2024

A recent tweet published by James Saylor, executive chairman of MicroStrategy, represents him as having laser eyes, his head surrounded by a Bitcoin halo.

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While doubtless Saylor’s portrayal of himself is partly humorous, his laser eyes suggest a person who is gifted with supernatural insight into the truth.  The portrait reminds one of Jesus, who is described by St. John’s Revelation as having eyes like a “flame of fire.”

Certainly, Saylor, who was a speaker at the Bitcoin Atlantis conference held this March in Madeira, is a passionate advocate of Bitcoin.  The convert from skeptic to “maximalist” and then to prophet now spreads the good news of Bitcoin. 

His speech promoted the gospel of Bitcoin in language reminiscent of a Billy Graham crusade.  The metaphysics of the cryptocurrency resembled a secularized version of the prosperity gospel preached by some televangelists.

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Saylor relies heavily on the revelations of Bitcoin’s mysterious founder, Satoshi Nakamoto, whose golden image can be found in Budapest, Hungary.  Nakamoto is also presented as a Christlike figure.  Having discerned the inherently evil and thus irredeemable nature of money and existing institutions, Nakamoto found a way to cleanse the earthly temples in thrall to Mammon.  Moving currency into the digitalized ether of cyberspace via the Word of algorithms removed the filth from earthly lucre.

As Saylor put it, “Put your money in cyberspace, where it is not subject to weather, war, or supply chains.”  Bitcoin removes humanity’s treasures from corrupt and useless  “analogue wealth” like real estate, gold, and silver, converting such capital into “digital property conveyed by digital power.”

The new form of money is sheer unpolluted energy, the foundation of a shining city in cyberspace.  The entrance to that shining city has a fee: the sacred money of Bitcoin, which is Mammon transformed into a sanctified “forever” currency, having all the characteristics of the treasures described by Christ in heaven, “where moth and rust do not corrupt nor thieves break in and steal.”  (Nor doth the tax collector come.)

Saylor’s evangelistic sermon echoed the famous lines from Genesis concerning the created world: in the beginning, there was Bitcoin, and it was good.

Bitcoin is not mere earthly Mammon exchanged for goods and services, but the means of salvation, a token of entrance into a newly created world in which true believers find complete freedom and equality.  Bitcoin purges toxicity (once known as “sin”) from a monetary and financial system irredeemably infected with toxic money housed within toxic institutions.  It even ends wars by beating the weapons of corrupt capitalism into the plowshares of cryptocurrency residing in inviolable and eternal cyberspace.

Bitcoin divides people, like the gospel example of the sheep and the goats, into two categories: those who understand and accept Bitcoin theology and those who do not.  Blessed are they who do understand, for they will inherit the Shining City in Cyberspace, the streets of which are paved not with gold, but with Bitcoin.