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Daily Archives

September 25, 2024

Biden Rushed Into Surgery After Eating Sock 

WASHINGTON—After paramedics used a scalpel to open an airway and keep him from asphyxiating en route to the hospital, President Joe Biden was reportedly rushed into surgery at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center on Wednesday to…

Dad Insists On Using Pocketknife To Open Can Of Chili

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Delighting in the opportunity to make use of the tool he carried with him everywhere, local father Kevin Ballard reportedly insisted on using his pocketknife Wednesday to open a can of chili. “Hang on, there’s no need to go…

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