As Elon Musk warns low birth rates risk civilizational collapse and the Trump administration seeks to persuade the public to have more children, the social debate regarding the fertility crisis amplifies the perspective of women while marginalizing the voices of children.
Childbearing is framed as a personal decision that primarily impacts the quality of life of mothers. In part, this makes sense. Pregnancy and childbirth cannot be outsourced to men, and no specific couple’s decision has any obvious external implications for society. However, when maternal pain is magnified, children are encouraged to internalize a negative view of their existence. Children are no longer blessings, they are burdens.
Progressive Prejudice and Female Predation
The leftist tendency to dehumanize children is the subject of a book I wrote, Progressive Prejudice: Exposing the Devouring Mother. It explores how the modern political left elevates the morality of women and refuses to recognize the female capacity for evil. The prejudices that shape Democrat party politics and advocate for minorities fail to view women as capable of predation. Thus, to avoid the appearance of “misogyny,” female forms of predation are ignored.
And children experience the brunt of female predation because they exist at the mercy of women. The feminist rallying cry is that society has unrealistic expectations of mothers, but this opinion is not true across all cultural contexts. Indeed, in leftist culture children are treated as burdens and menaces to a woman’s freedom, and ambition.
This view often includes elements of sexism: mothers can speak ill of their children in ways fathers cannot. Men cannot even assign their unborn children value without being chided with the common progressive phrase “no uterus, no opinion.” Still, men who abandon their children are deadbeat dads, while mothers are championed for killing their children through abortion. Simply put, a child’s worth is maternally, not paternally assigned. Therefore, when it comes to children, women hold all of the relational power, while simultaneously complaining of the caregiving from which their power derives.
The interplay between caregiving and power is critical in the debate over the value of childbearing. The phrase “motherhood is hard” is common, however, the difficulty of living as a child under the weight of a merciless woman is rarely discussed. Social stereotypes further marginalize children, because women are presumed to be victims, not predators.
This myth persists, despite the fact that, statistically speaking, more women abuse children than men. While women are more likely to be a child’s primary caregiver, they also more easily evade legal detection because they are rarely viewed as suspects of criminal activity.
Dismissing Maternal Abuse
As discussed in the book, I learned these lessons the hard way, after enduring chronic, unrelenting abuse from my mother, a sexually, psychologically, and emotionally abusive woman. Yet, despite the horror of her abuse, seeking therapeutic care to heal from her abuse was almost as traumatic as the childhood events themselves.
Therapists, steeped in progressive prejudices from academic training, had no tolerance for criticizing a “victimized mother.” Female therapists universally excused my mother’s actions.
“She did not receive enough support from your father.”
“Your poor mother had seven children, she was probably exhausted and could not deal with you.”
“You need to appreciate her efforts, even if you feel harmed.”
Only one counselor saw my experiences as abusive. It should come as no surprise that he was a man.
Projecting Guilt onto Children for the Sin of Existence
In progressive culture, women often describe their children as traumatic burdens. Children, forced to hear how their existence brought upon their mother are being punished for the sin of existing. Despite having no control over the circumstances surrounding their conception, birth, or their individualized infant needs, children are forced to bear the weight of their mother’s dysfunctional emotions.
Often women discuss birth and childrearing as if they are the only party with an interest in the story they share. Yet, birth includes two people’s experiences. When women tell stories of birth they are spinning a narrative of their children’s origin and worth. The fact mothers feel empowered to speak derogatorily of their child’s birth paints a picture of the unearned moral privilege women carry. The motives of mothers are never questioned.
This leads to an under-discussed issue in the fertility crisis discussion. Childbirth is an inherently transformative experience, and a woman cannot know who she will become on the other side of birth. For some, a fear of continuing generational cycles of abuse lurks behind the fear of having children.
An inability to foresee whether I was worthy of a child was an enormous barrier to conception. I could not bear the thought of becoming a maternal tyrant, verbally abusing my child, causing him to view his existence as the proximate cause of his creator’s agony. While I am eternally thankful for my son, fears surrounding birth amidst leftist, anti-natal culture, are rational.
The complex cultural and political debate surrounding the benefits and drawbacks of women birthing children would benefit from a truth I learned through the pain of experience. Birth is a metamorphosis. Women are never the same after the experience, nor is the transfiguration equal for all. Some women transform into monsters, others into mothers.
Leslie Corbly, author of Progressive Prejudice: Exposing the Devouring Mother.
American Thinker
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