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Start SlideshowIt’s no secret that school textbooks don’t cover the whole of American history, and that important facts about this great nation are often omitted to serve a narrative. In the name of keeping truth alive, The Onion presents…

Start SlideshowMany believe that a once-strong military composed of straight white men has become weak due to a liberal obsession with inclusion. The Onion asked Americans to explain why the U.S. military is too woke, and this is what they…

Start SlideshowAlthough football was previously considered a manly, patriotic sport, the modern NFL has done nothing but capitulate to the far-left mob. The Onion asked conservatives to explain why the sport is too woke, and this is what…

Free speech absolutists staunchly believe that Americans should be able to voice any opinion they want, except those that make them angry. The Onion asked these First Amendment supporters why people they disagree with should be fired, and…

With their large populations of unhoused people, minorities, and gays, liberal enclaves like New York and San Francisco have never been more dangerous to real, red-blooded Americans. The Onion asked conservatives to explain how they survive…

Start SlideshowWith the ailment blamed for many of the problems in the country, The Onion asked Americans what it is like to live with the Woke Mind Virus, and this is what they said.AdvertisementPrevious SlideNext SlideCorey Wainwright,…

“God, it was awful. The woke cherry on top of a brutally woke day. First, I sat in traffic behind a woke electric car. Then, I had to go to my woke corporate job, had a woke Panera Bread sandwich for lunch, sat in woke traffic on the way to…