alcohol

Men are simple creatures. We’re easily satisfied, we don’t ask for much, and we take less than 15 minutes to get ready for a night out on the town. So if you’re a new wife or girlfriend this Christmas season, you may be finding it difficult…

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This week, one of the largest online platforms for pornography, Pornhub, cut off access to Utahns in order to protest a new law that would require sites to check ID verification for user access. Even though other states such as Louisiana,…

SCARBOROUGH — After decades of the question being asked by frustrated bar patrons, the identity of the man whose dick you have to suck to get a drink around here has been definitively identified as Marty Williams, produce clerk at a Sobey’s…

OTTAWA – The federal government has announced a new 6.3% tax on beer, wine, and all other alcoholic spirits that represent the last fragment of happiness in your otherwise pointless existence. “Coping mechanisms are lucrative – especially…

OTTAWA — Following recommendations by the Canadian Centre on Substance Use and Addiction (CCSA) to put warning labels on alcohol, Health Canada has issued an advisory informing Canadians they can minimise their cancer-risk by ingesting a…

LEAMINGTON, ON – As budgets tighten, ketchup has stepped up once again for the everyman. To say thanks, the Ketchup Caesar was just named Canada’s official inflation cocktail by the Professional Bartenders Association. “The…

LONDON, ON – In an effort to protect students and faculty against COVID-19 and being a buzzkill, Western University announced that everyone entering the campus must have had at least 3 shots of COVID vaccination and no less than 15 shots of…

CALGARY – A bartender at a cocktail joint called the Top Hat is about to charge you an exorbitant sum for a two-ingredient drink, according to tipsy sources who are feeling ripped off. “So this gin has been infused with elderflower,”…

NEW YORK CITY – After months of negotiations, Major League Baseball players and owners ratified a collective bargaining agreement to save the 2022 season after remembering how much the sport means to people who like to get a little buzz on…