America

TORONTO – The cast and crew of the current Toronto production of Come From Away have debuted a new ending where instead of forming lasting bonds of friendship, the people of Gander, Newfoundland wise up and beat the stuffing out of the…

OTTAWA – With the stock market plunged into chaos by U.S. President Donald Trump’s sweeping tariffs, Canadians have decided to simply wait out America’s forthcoming economic collapse and then buy the nation on the cheap. Canada’s leaders…

Boise, ‘Merica – Local skimmer of news articles John Lougthrow recently exclaimed he was ‘amped’ for Canada to become the 49th state of the currently 50 United States of America. “Hard to believe they weren’t already Americans,” explained…

Atlanta, GA – Reports first made on social media have corroborated that the devil went down to Georgia looking for some souls to steal late Friday night where he was quickly taken into custody by ICE officials. Several eyewitnesses stated…

Planning for next year’s Quarter-Millennial anniversary of American independence is way behind where planning was at this stage for our nation’s glorious Bicentennial in 1976. This is the unfortunate result of our having just lived through…

When a Canadian child was rushed to the hospital after nearly drowning, his parents say doctors threatened to take the child off life support and suggested harvesting his organs. “We had 14 days to prepare his funeral and say goodbye…

OTTAWA – Local man Matthew Kearns has admitted that, despite despising Trump and wanting Canada to remain independent, it would almost be worth becoming the 51st state just to watch American politicians and media try to wrap their heads…

In a recent “PBS NewsHour” panel discussion, Washington Post Associate Editor Jonathan Capehart criticized President-elect Donald Trump for selecting cabinet nominees designed to “wreck Washington.” Underlying Capehart’s critique is his…

OTTAWA – Following the re-election of US President Donald J. Trump, Canadian PM Justin Trudeau immediately suggested that now might be a great time to step down as Liberal party leader and let someone else have a crack at it. “While I have…

WASHINGTON D.C. – After almost 250 years of data-gathering, the American experiment has ended in a catastrophic laboratory explosion. “I don’t understand what went wrong!” sighed the facility’s chief scientist. “I added a flawed…