american people of german descent

LOS ANGELES—Fueling rumors that the 49-year-old star was finally settling down, Leonardo DiCaprio was spotted with girlfriend Vittoria Ceretti on Thursday as she flaunted a new nondisclosure agreement. “Oh, man, you can tell he spent a lot…

A New York appeals court ruled that it would accept a bond of $175 million, reduced from $454 million, from Donald Trump, preventing the attorney general from collecting the former president’s assets while he appeals the judgment against…

Start SlideshowFormer President Trump currently faces 91 felony counts in courts from Georgia and Florida to New York and Washington, D.C. Test your knowledge of the current Republican presidential candidate’s ongoing criminal and civil…

Start SlideshowPresidential candidate Donald Trump recently remarked that if he loses the 2024 election it will “be a bloodbath for the country.” The Onion examines what he might have meant by the statement.AdvertisementPrevious SlideNext…

Start SlideshowAdvertisementPrevious SlideNext SlidePut A Peloton Bike In TherePut A Peloton Bike In ThereAnd the RNC is going to pay for it.AdvertisementPrevious SlideNext SlideTake Own Office Door Off Hinges So Creepy Father-In-Law Can’t…

VANDALIA, OH—Drawing criticism for what many called his dehumanizing and hurtful rhetoric, former President Donald Trump gave a campaign speech in Ohio over the weekend in which he referred to migrants as “Dons and Erics,” according to…

The Jets quarterback has recently faced backlash for controversial remarks on the 9/11 terror attacks, Covid vaccines, and the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting. The Onion asked football fans what they thought about Aaron Rodgers…

WASHINGTON—Noting that the late astronaut was actually quite disoriented after spending four days confined to the cramped Apollo 11 command module, a new report from NASA confirmed Tuesday that Neil Armstrong mistakenly believed he had…

According to a Pentagon report, the White House pharmacy under Trump dispensed huge quantities of controlled substances like Xanax, Ambien, and Provigil, often to ineligible patients. The Onion reveals what happened when staff reportedly…

JANESVILLE, WI—Admitting that it was exactly what he needed to pass the time between sunup and sundown, a visibly disheveled Paul Ryan reportedly spent another nice day this week staring at a wall for eight hours and then going back to bed.…