american people of german descent

While most trolls are primarily confined to the worst corners of the internet, some, like Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL), live to wreak havoc in the real world. The Onion asked trolls, shitposters, and internet provocateurs why they love the…

Attendees at Trump’s autoworkers rally outside Detroit reportedly confessed to journalists that they were not union autoworkers, despite the signs they were holding saying “Autoworkers For Trump.” What do you think?“If Trump were still…

Donald Trump could be at risk of losing control of his New York business properties, including Trump Tower, after a judge found that the former president and his company liable for fraud. What do you think?“It should be returned to whomever…

CARMEL, IN—Struggling to keep a straight face while addressing the Republican candidate, snickering teen angels reportedly appeared before Mike Pence Friday to tell him it was totally God’s will that he keep running for president. “God told…

Start SlideshowTest your knowledge of one of the highest-grossing singer-songwriters of all time by passing this quiz on Taylor Swift.AdvertisementPrevious SlideNext SlideWho is Taylor Swift’s biggest musical influence? Who is Taylor…

Seventy-eight-year-old Utah Republican Sen. Mitt Romney, who ran for president in 2012, will not be running for reelection when his Senate term ends in January 2025, saying the country needs a new generation of leaders. What do you…

NEW YORK—In an effort to increase traffic and engagement by inserting mentions of the famous singer, disillusioned journalist Marcus Pruitt begrudgingly added a Taylor Swift reference to an article about the flood in Libya. “The death toll…

Despite Kevin McCarthy’s attempts to placate the far-right flank of his party, relations are strained between the House speaker and GOP hard-liners. The Onion asked Republicans to explain why McCarthy must be ousted from his leadership…

NEW YORK—In the wake of an Achilles tear that ended the quarterback’s first season with the New York Jets, a resilient Aaron Rodgers vowed Friday to return more detached from reality than ever. “I’m deeply humbled by all the support from…

LOS ANGELES—Spitting into their palms to cement the deal, Nick, Joe, and Kevin Jonas reportedly made a tree-house pact Friday to divorce their mean wives and marry each other. “Everything was so much better when it was just us Jonas boys,…