americancuisine

REDMOND, WA—In an effort to let the past be the past, local woman Cassie Keene told reporters Monday that she had finally forgiven herself for eating an entire donut all those years ago. “I’ll always be haunted by those 300 calories, but…

SEATTLE—In a study that warns frequent snackers carry a higher risk of developing the condition, new research published Monday by orthopedists at the University of Washington revealed that one in every 20 Americans will develop carpal…

GLENDALE, AZ—Calling timeout and coming to the aid of the team’s visibly ailing head coach during Super Bowl LVII, Kansas City Chiefs medical staff helped a critically hungry Andy Reid into the sideline meat-smoking tent. “After a member of…

At this point, you likely won’t be able to get close to this burger without gagging, not only because of the near-complete putrefaction, but from the dawning realization of all this time and energy you’ve poured into watching it. Just…

DAYTON, OH—In an effort to extend his compliments to the alluring shopper after she caught his eye, local man Andrew Williamson reportedly bought a slice of honey-roasted ham Thursday for the attractive woman at the other end of the deli…

CHICAGO—According to a new study released Friday by researchers at the University of Chicago, 1 in 10 Americans lack access to adequate food eating challenges. “It is a disgrace that in a nation as wealthy as the United States, millions of…