americanwriters

WASHINGTON—Telling critics in Congress that if they wanted serious reform they simply needed to make it worth his while, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas promised Friday he would adopt a code of ethics for the right price. “After…

“I hate the way you talk to me, And the way you cut your hair. / I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare. / I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. / I hate you so much it makes me sick, It even…

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WASHINGTON—Writing that it was incredibly hard to choose from all the beautiful work that had brought him so much pleasure, former President Barack Obama took to social media Thursday to release his summer list of favorite things to…

Tucker Carlson: Look, do I want to murder Donald Trump? Strangle him? Beat him? Stab him hundreds of times, fuck his corpse, and then stab him even more until he’s completely unrecognizable and I’m covered in his blood and viscera? Yes. But…

“This is a HUGE victory for American PATRIOTS…somehow. Because now Tucker can FINALLY SAY WHAT HE WANTS, which I guess he wasn’t doing before? Honestly, it seemed like he pretty much did and said whatever he wanted and it worked out pretty…

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PLAINS, GA—Calling the split entirely amicable and long overdue, Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter confirmed their divorce to the press in statement released Tuesday. “Frankly, we both couldn’t be more excited to put our respective pasts behind us…

LOS ANGELES—Stating that his latest hire was sure to take the storyline in fascinating new directions, Donald Glover confirmed Friday that Barron Trump would be a writer on the second season of Swarm. “Barron brings a lot to the table, and…

WASHINGTON—In a social media post sharing his predictions, former President Barack Obama revealed Friday that the winner he had picked for his NCAA basketball tournament bracket was Song Of Solomon by Toni Morrison. “March Madness is here,…