animal male reproductive system

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TALLAHASSEE, FL—With its legislature passing a resolution that cited the rich and significant history of the reproductive organ, Florida named the penis its official state genital on Wednesday. “It fills me with great pleasure to sign this…

PUEBLO, CO—With the body it was attached to measuring well below average, a local penis was reportedly feeling self-conscious Wednesday about how small his man was. “I know it shouldn’t be a big deal, but I have a lot of insecurity about…

CLEVELAND—Rushing into action mere moments before the situation reached a point of no return, heroic police officer Samuel Esposito reportedly talked a man down Tuesday from the edge of climaxing. “Sir, before you do something drastic that…

CINCINNATI—Admitting that he had an avoidant personality that often left him closed off to new possibilities, local man Stanley Fox reportedly stepped out of his comfort zone Friday by flashing his penis to diners at popular restaurant…

BOWLING GREEN, OH—Complaining about the “woke mind virus” that had taken over the campus, Bowling Green State University economics professor Gerard Admussen told reporters Monday that the overly sensitive college students require a trigger…

WASHINGTON—Eyes welling up with tears as their time together came to an end, federal agents reportedly gazed at a photo of Hunter Biden’s penis one last time Tuesday before officially closing the pertinent investigation. “I suppose that’s…