animals

Previously holding the title of “world’s ugliest animal,” the lumpy, jelly-like, deep-sea blobfish redeemed its reputation this week when it was crowned Fish of the Year by a New Zealand environmental group. What do you think? “Get…

A Memphis man was recently grazed by a bullet in his home after his 1-year-old pit bull, Oreo, got his paw stuck in the trigger guard of a gun, causing it to fire. What do you think? “This just shows why we need guns specifically…

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Suggesting the reversal of a longstanding historical trend towards urbanization, a report published Tuesday by researchers at Harvard University revealed that more Americans were moving away from cities to pursue a rural life…

A study published in the journal Science found that butterflies are vanishing from U.S. landscapes at an alarming rate, with 22% disappearing between 2000 and 2020. What do you think? “This is really going to put a damper on my…

RANBURNE, AL—Concluding an hours-long summit with top thinkers from the area, residents of a town with a heavyset mule stuck halfway through a barn door declared Thursday that they’re plumb out of ideas. The townsfolk, who were spotted…

ITHACA, NY—Noting that the evolutionary quirk results in plenty of familial strife, herpetologists at Cornell University confirmed Tuesday that shingleback lizards are the only reptiles that mate for the sake of their aging mothers. “Unlike…

An Ornate cat-eyed snake was found hiding in a bunch of bananas at a New Hampshire grocery store, the reptile having been accidentally stowed away among a shipment of the fruit. What do you think? “This is why every American should…

COBOURG, ON ― Local housecat, Firecracker Devries, achieved a soaring pinnacle of sheer hedonistic pleasure today that is in equal measure inaccessible and inconceivable to her owner/servant/tolerated-acquaintance, Lucien Devries, upon…

Researchers in Australia said that they have for the first time successfully produced kangaroo embryos through in-vitro fertilization, a breakthrough that may help save endangered species from extinction. What do you think? “Who’s…

WASHINGTON—Fulfilling a campaign promise made by President Donald Trump, the U.S. Department of the Interior announced Wednesday that it was enacting a ban on unlikely animal friendships, effective immediately. “Starting today, any animal…