antonyblinken

KINSHASA, ZAIRE—Ordering rescue helicopters to the long-fallen nation, U.S. personnel were reportedly evacuated from the Zaire embassy Wednesday amid the country not existing for over 25 years. “We have found it untenable to maintain a…

WASHINGTON—Flirtatiously winking and calling the assembled reporters a bunch of “silly gooses,” the U.S. government coyly denied in a press conference Tuesday that it was involved with anything naughty. “Who, us? We would never, ever! The…

WASHINGTON—Bowing down before the floating intruder mere hours after it entered American airspace, the entire U.S. nation reportedly surrendered Friday to the Chinese balloon spotted hovering over Montana. “Today, I speak to the Great…