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NEW YORK—Noting that there would be no reason to be concerned for the future of the planet again until tomorrow morning at the earliest, climate scientists at Columbia University announced Thursday that Earth was doing pretty good today, so…

“I spake the forbidden words into The Void. The Void shrieked back at me, shaking by body to the very core of where a soul once would’ve been. The sacrifice was made. ‘Do you accept the terrible destruction that shall be wrought upon this…

On this International Women’s Day, The Onion devotes its sterling reportage to championing women—a small but influential sliver of the nation’s population—in an endeavor to prevent them from vanishing from the public consciousness…

Almost 200 human rights organizations are urging the United Nations to intervene to ensure the United States protects reproductive rights, saying the decision to overturn Roe v. Wade contravenes the U.S.’s international obligations as a…

PLAINS, GA—Alarmed that he might live indefinitely, former President Jimmy Carter reportedly began to worry Tuesday that he might never die. “How much longer will I keep going on like this—another decade? Two?” said Carter, staring at his…

Tennessee’s governorsigned a new bill that bans “adult cabaret entertainment” on public property or in locations where it can be viewed by minors, threatening drag performers with a misdemeanor charge or a felony if it’s a repeat offense.…

SAN FRANCISCO—After it dropped clear hints that it wanted to end the back and forth of the artificial conversation, sources reported Monday that AI chatbot ChatGPT was obviously trying to wind down its conversation with a boring human. “Due…

Start SlideshowThe infamous AI program ChatGPT has been given various ethical safeguards to prevent it from answering inflammatory, dangerous, or otherwise inappropriate questions. Here are questions that ChatGPT is not allowed to…

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The European Space Agency proposed a new time zone for the Moon, saying there is a need to establish some synchronicity in how we tell time on the Moon as many countries race to explore it. What do you think?“Good, I’ll need to know what…