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The expansion of SNAP benefits, also known as food stamps, that were put in place during the height of the Covid-19 pandemic is ending, pushing about 32 million Americans off a “hunger cliff.” What do you think?“They had almost three years…

NEW YORK—Expressing confidence that the new technology wasn’t a threat, FinCorp Solutions CEO Charles Markham reportedly expressed relief Wednesday that artificial intelligence could never replace him if he already contributed nothing to…

LEE’S SUMMIT, MO—Expressing concern over the youngster’s suspiciously sparse work history and total lack of professional references, local factory manager Toby Walters asked a 12-year-old job applicant Tuesday to explain a 12-year…

DECATUR, GA—Decorated with hearts and smiley faces, a note from a Shein factory worker found Tuesday in local woman Amelia Benson’s order described how much the employee loves doing sweatshop labor for the fast-fashion company. “My job is…

WASHINGTON—Announcing that the overly restrictive rules would be rolled back once and for all, the Food and Drug Administration announced Thursday that any white liquid could now be called “milk.” “Starting today, any opaque liquid that is…

The Last Of Us, the post-apocalyptic drama series based on a 2013 video game, has shot to both commercial and critical stardom. The Onion tells you everything you need to know about The Last Of Us.CCOffEnglishQ: What is The Last Of Us…

WASHINGTON—An AMBER Alert ringing out across the country to no one, the nation was placed in a state of emergency Thursdayafter the entire population went missing. “After being unable to determine the whereabouts of all 330 million…

DAYTON, OH—Insisting that it worked every time, local parents Lewis and Dawn Ladin tricked their child into eating more vegetables Wednesday by hitting him if he didn’t eat his vegetables. “I’ve found the best way to dupe my kid into eating…

NEW YORK—Walking back his previous comments that Republican presidential hopeful Nikki Haley was past her “prime,” an apologetic Don Lemon clarified to reporters Tuesday that a woman’s relevance was not defined by age, but by conventional…

OMAHA, NE—Noticing a shift in the winds and a rustling of leaves off in the distance, wizened office sage Frank Cahill whispered “Layoffs a-comin’” Monday as he stared out over the horizon. “Looks like diminishing head counts are coming in…