Baseball

LOS ANGELES—After months of speculation over his playing future, baseball phenom Shohei Ohtani announced Friday his plans to leave the Los Angeles Angels for a team in Major League Baseball. “It’s been an honor playing for the Angels, and…

VALDOSTA, GA—Explaining that even his deeply ingrained support for his country had its limits, zealous American patriot Gabriel Bartlett told reporters this week that he drew the line at women playing soccer. “I don’t care that they…

GUILDERLAND, NY—A pathetic display of deception and self-debasement reportedly occurred Tuesday when a theatrical farce featuring teammates, parents, and coaches pretended a Little Leaguer’s 12-error dribbler was a real home run. Sources…

BOSTON—As part of an ongoing rebuilding effort to make the team younger and cheaper, the Boston Red Sox reportedly announced Friday they were trading the aging Fenway Park to the New York Yankees for several highly touted blueprints. “While…

A conservative Catholic coalition is taking aim at the Los Angeles Dodgers for promoting an LGBT anti-Christian hate group at the baseball team’s “Pride Night” on Friday. CatholicVote, a Wisconsin-based non-profit, launched a seven-figure…

On Tuesday, Washington Nationals pitcher Trevor Williams did what the vast majority of his fellow MLB players are refusing to do: Speak the truth. In a lengthy statement posted to Twitter, Williams, a devout Catholic, came out swinging…

The Toronto Blue Jays’ Anthony Bass is really sorry. You see, Major League Baseball honors men in nun costumes who hand out condoms and simulate sex on crosses — that’s just “inclusivity.” Reactionary orthodox Christians with opinions, on…

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WILLIAMSPORT, PA—Officials have reportedly been dealing with a high volume of player complaints in the first weeks of the season as Little Leaguers express concerns that introducing a pitch clock would cut into their grass-picking time. “I…

TORONTO – As the Toronto Blue Jays play the 2023 season’s first home games, fans are enjoying several offseason additions to the Rogers Centre, including a new bullpen bar, a large family play area, and a quiet corner where people can tell…