brain

SPANISH FORK, UT—Entering his skull with a notarized affidavit and seizing the vital organ, agents dispatched Thursday by PNC Bank repossessed the brain of local man Dylan Turner, who had reportedly defaulted on his student loans. “Sorry,…

Elon Musk announced that his company Neuralink implanted its first brain-computer interface into a human and that the patient is “recovering well,” the goal of the new wireless device being to link directly into an individual’s cerebral…

NEW YORK—Panicking in the wake of a would-be groundbreaking surgical procedure, an eye transplant recipient reportedly began shrieking Tuesday after doctors accidentally implanted his new eye facing inward toward his brain. “Oh my God,…

NEW YORK—Three hours into a craniotomy at New York–Presbyterian Hospital on Friday, brain surgeon James Roth reportedly held a small mirror up behind the patient’s head so she could see how the surgery was looking so far. “Do we love it?”…

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Shedding new light on what happens to humans after they die, a study published Wednesday in the Journal Of Neurology found that the nightmares will never cease, not even in death. “For decades, the consensus among scientists…

WASHINGTON—With casualties in the ruthless conflict continuing to mount, sources confirmed more than 2 million Americans were left brain-dead Friday during the most brutal day yet in the nation’s online culture wars. “As the opposing camps…