branchesofbiology

A new study shows that humans have the genes for a full coat of body hair that evolution has rendered inactive, a discovery that may someday be used to treat millions of balding Americans. What do you think?“I’d look so incredible fully…

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Following orders to obtain vital scientific knowledge through any means necessary, a team of biologists at Harvard University tortured an amoeba in an attempt to extract information on where life came from, sources confirmed…

COLUMBUS, OH—Informing her the facility was currently operating beyond capacity and experiencing delays, staff at Columbus Memorial Hospital told a woman suffering cardiac arrest that they could schedule an appointment for her to undergo…

DOTHAN, AL—Offering accolades for the homemade puke it grew up eating, a local barn swallow told reporters Friday that its mother made the best vomit in the world. “I know everyone says this, but no one can regurgitate like my mom does,”…

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Shedding new light on what happens to humans after they die, a study published Wednesday in the Journal Of Neurology found that the nightmares will never cease, not even in death. “For decades, the consensus among scientists…

BOISE, ID—Tugging on the leash with a groan while walking his easily distracted dog, local man Kenneth Granger announced Monday that he would be the judge of what warranted sniffing. “Come on, no, you do not need to smell that fence again,”…