burger

DAYTON, OH—While greeting the crowd at a campaign rally Thursday, former President Donald Trump was seen kissing a supporter’s burger, according to sources in attendance. “Well, who’s this juicy little guy?” asked the GOP presidential…

COLUMBUS, OH—In an effort to come clean about the storied history of the brand, White Castle released a statement Tuesday confirming its sliders were the result of centuries of inbreeding. “Years of burgers procreating within the same…

WASHINGTON—Breathing a huge sigh of relief when they saw the two halves, a spokesperson for the U.S. populace announced Tuesday that the nation likes it when the hamburger bun is already cut. “Oh thank God—that would have been exhausting,”…