burrito

IRVINE, CA—Rolling out the new menu item in a national ad campaign, Taco Bell introduced a limited-time burrito Thursday that will reportedly do its best to satisfy people’s hunger, but there are no guarantees in this crazy world. “Though…

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MONTGOMERY, AL—In a case aimed at preserving what plaintiffs described as the sanctity of reheatable Tex-Mex fare, Alabama’s Supreme Court issued a ruling Tuesday in which it asserted that frozen burritos are children. “With this decision,…

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MILWAUKEE, WI—Applauding the astute businessperson for seizing upon the market opportunity, sources confirmed Monday that a shrewd entrepreneur had opened a burrito place in the former site of a failed burrito place. “Well, it seems some…

Rosemary Hayne, the 39-year old mother of four who threw a burrito bowl in the face of a Chipotle in Parma, OH, was sentenced to work two months in a fast food restaurant in addition to a 30-day jail sentence. What do you think?“Won’t this…

GREEN BAY, WI—In an act demonstrating clear confidence and pride in his own worth, self-respecting man Evan Landry reportedly heated up his leftovers from Garcia’s Mexican Restaurant in the microwave on Monday. “I could just dig into this…

FORT LIBERTY, NC—As he signed and muttered, “Here we go again,” 13-year-old Army brat Logan Crawshaw was reportedly kicking himself Tuesday after learning his family would be moving just as he was getting comfortable with a new regional…

IRVINE, CA—Ambivalently promoting the menu item in a media campaign that launched Friday, a new Taco Bell ad urges customers to consider whether they are actually interested in trying the fast food restaurant’s Beefy 5-Layer Burrito. “Look,…